Yet I love her...

I saw her in the begining of last semester, on my way to the cafe.. I can see her so clearly now....
she was wearing the green sleeveless shirt, and that annoying middy jeans skirt I hate so much. her hair was long and black then, and her eyebrows looked like hell. And she looked lost and lonely. Ok, I've never been the hero kind of person...but the look she wore as she stood by the classroom door watching the students go by hit me.. and at that moment I decided to become her hero. I put on my friendliest smile, and smiled right up at her... and she gave me a ghost of smile (that same smile has mad guys go head over heels, i know this for a fact) i asked her name and told her mine. That was all it took to intrest me... this child needed saving and somehow God had given me the job. coincidentally she had two classes with me and i was ecstatic. i asked her over to my house and she shyly agreed, supposedly it was to help me learn some words, but we ended up doing nails... every time i remember the first look at her little toes i have to grin.. i still call them 'frodo's foot'. i don't know why, but i began opening myself up to her. telling her about myself, my life my troubles. at first she only pasted on her fake smile and kinda nodded once in a while. but i didn't give up, she was my little lost kitten.. slowly oh ever so slowly, she begin to thaw out and speak to me... to open up. I tell you those moments were the hardest, for when she moved in with me, she would lock herself up in the room, and seem to block out the very sunshine. there were times when i was so frigin frustrated with her... she seemed to be floating in a sea of not caring. i tried to get her to tell me what she was feeling, what was wrong.. but many times to no avial. when people started seeing us together they kept asking if she was my sister... ironically they say we look alike, in fact someone just told me that five seconds ago! anyway, i tired and i tried to understand her, to understand the bitterness, the sadness i could see reflected in her eyes.. and i couldn't. what or who had hurt her this much? finally months later, she told me about her little runaway love.. ah now i understood. this was known territory. this pain i could understand. So the hero in me worked harder to make her happy. i went out of my way to make her smile, i did all i could in my power to erase the ghost behind her... i realized i had grown to love this little imp of girl. she got her hair cut, and dyed, i did her eyebrows, i managed to desecrate most of those annoying clothes.. we had fun sometimes, we danced, we sang, we shared. but still she missed you, she still does. anything from you would make her alert, a text, a surprise call for valentine, the blogs. i want you to know that... she missed you. the rest isn't in my power to say.
back to her. to this day,even though she sometimes seems to be so faraway from me, although sometimes i feel I've lost her, yet i love her. i am still her, still trying to be hero, still giving her hugs she shrinks from, still trying to erase the sadness in her eyes. yeah the sadness is still there, different but still there. but i'm still here, even though i piss her off sometimes, and she defiantly pisses me off sometimes, i'm still herE. I'm still trying to be her hero. she is the sister i never had, the best friend who hasn't betrayed me yet, the one to listen to my rass and still smile. yet i love her. for who she is, for her wacky self, her crazy theories, and the pain she carries within... i'm still not sure if I'm trying to save from the world, or from herself.. but i will keep on trying. YOU hear me? I'll stay right here, making you smile, trying to understand you, complaining to you and about you.. , i'm sorry for all the shit you've been through, for loving him and losing him, for all the stupid people who hurt you, and know that no matter what happens i will be here, and so help me God if anyone tries to hurt you... they have a she dragon to deal with.. so i wanted to dedicate this one to you, just for being you.... and don't worry.. someday i will erase the sadness, with the help of someone else of course!
Love ya my pretty desolate butterfly.


A FRIEND IS SOMEONE WHO BELIEVES IN YOU, EVEN WHEN YOU STOPPED BELIEVING IN YOURSELF.

IF MY FRIEND WERE TO JUMP OFF A BRIDGE- I WOULDN'T JUMP WITH THEM, I WOULD BE THERE TO CATCH THEM!

YESTERDAY BROUGHT THE BEGINNING, TOMMOROW BRINGS THE END, BUT SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE, WE'VE BECOME BEST FRIENDS.