Wednesday, June 18, 2008

How do I?

Darling sat by clear river, her favorite place in the ranch. yet not even here could she find tranquility, peace and ultimately happiness which she so sought for. In her mind, the questioned throbbed with her very pulse, her very heart,"How do I..." it seemed to ask.How do I let go? forget all the crap people said, this was real life, this was HER real life. and it was her heart which was hurting. He'd done it again, and again she'd forgiven him, but had she really? how many times must she do it? he'd always say the same things wouldn't he? it was dawning on her now... he'd always say he loved her, that it was his only weakness, that it would take time for him to over come it. He would always say he was sorry, that those other girls didn't mean anything for him, that words he told him were just words, that it was his cousin, that they were the one's looking for him. And Darling realized, again she'd forgive him, because he was the only one she could love, her family had accepted him, her mom reluctantly but she had. her father trusted him. she had never gotten this close to anyone... he was her everything. She had given him her all, now how did she get it back? inside her, something was changing, and she knew she had had enough. now she wanted to know, How do i stop loving him? how to forget his smile, his touch, the kisses, their moment's together. How do I overcome this great a love. She knew she simply couldn't walk away, that wasn't the way things worked. He had taught her how to love- now, if only he'd teach her to forget. But life was strange, and love did stupid things to you, she wasn't sure, but she knew she'd had enough... now, Darling thought, HOW DO I do it? slowly, forget him day by day... all at once, send him to hell.... force myself to realize that he will never change, but what if he does change? what if he doesn't... How does she do it?