In life, nothing is a guarantee; everything is a risk, a chance. These past months have been very eventful, sometimes I feel as if I am on a roller coaster ride, or as if someone has put me on tv and fast forwarded me. And how I wish the stop button would be pushed. It annoys me when my life doesn’t take the turns I want it to take. I try to pull one way and everything else pulls the next. I try to make something and life brings it down. I fall in love wholeheartedly and life has other plans, I decide I’m ready for something and it turns out just the opposite. So, today I take time out and hit the pause button and think. I’m here, nothing I say or do will change what has happened. So I guess accepting is the first step, it can be hard, but moving on is the hardest. Leaving behind what you’ve cherished is tough. So, what have I been up to?
1. Trying to accept that not all love stories get to their happy ending easily, Learning that once you find your love, no matter what, no matter who and no matter how much it takes, or how far away you are, you don’t stop loving them. They stay with you, in your heart in your soul, in your very being.
2. Learning to be a mom- Yep you read right. No, I didn’t have a baby, God had other plans. Her name is Yasmin Vasquez, five years old and a beauty. You see, this man I know learned the same lesson as above, but in a more harsher way- his wife left him with six young children to take care of. I don’t fully understand how yet, but he felt that I could help out, so I’m a surrogate mom. She is beautiful and sweet, but has her days also. Being a mom is new for me, yeah I’ve taken care of my brothers, but this is really different. She calls me ‘ma’ and counts on me a lot. I try my best but I keep doing mistakes, I’ll get the hang of it- someday. My mom and my brother really help, without I would be lost. Believe me a five year old toddler is challenging, but I get my reward when I hear her ‘te quiero mami’ and get my goodnight kiss. However, I am glad to say I’m having fun! She is definetly fun, and the first day of classes was a blast, needless to say I miss my sleeping late in the mornings. Hmmm does this put me in the single mother category? Anyway you’ll be seeing a lot of yasmin in the future, So I am open for advice.
3. Trying to find myself- you know I don’t think anyone comes into this life fully prepared and armed, knowing exactly who they are and why. That’s me. I’ve been up, I’ve been down and in the middle. And learning to find out exactly who you are and why is not easy. You pass through a lot of pain, tears and frustration. But I guess I’ll get there and I’m definitely on my way. I think the hardest thing so far for me is to forgive. When I get hurt I tend to become really angry and resentful, but I think that forgiving those who hurt you is the best way to get them back. What do you all think?
So far, this is it, this has taken up a lot of my summer. But I guess I’m progressing even if it is an inch at a day. So that’s if for this editions of Judy’s recent activities stay tuned for more.
